This week, I read an intriguing post by Daniel Gulati on the Harvard Business Review Blog Network on Why You Won’t Quit Your Job. Mr. Gulati does an excellent job articulating why people don’t make big changes in their lives and careers, and why most people will not, in fact, leave their jobs even though they desperately want to.
To summarize his points, the reasons you stay in a job or career you don’t like are:
You’ve been conditioned to stay
The famed psychologist B.F. Skinner proved that being rewarded at random intervals (rather than on a fixed schedule) is a highly effective way to reinforce behavior. Our corporate employers do a wonderful job of keeping us coming back for more in our current roles, tightly weaving us into the fabric of the organization by giving us little random rewards (a boss’ praise, a new plum client, an exciting new project, etc.)
You’re risk averse, now more than ever
We all know humans are risk-averse. Now, however, with online social networks and digital technology on the rise, your movements are far more visible. You fear looking bad in front of thousands of people if it doesn’t work out, so you stay put.
You don’t reach for the highest peak because you’re focused on scaling smaller ones
Finally, Mr. Gulati points out that a majority of professionals are focused on “winning” the prize in front of them (such as the next promotion or raise). They choose to scale the smaller peaks that emerge before them, rather than choosing a different terrain entirely and starting at the bottom of a new, higher mountain that may be much more satisfying and lucrative.
I agree 100% that these factors and behaviors inhibit our movement and growth. However, I believe this – these are all still excuses. Another way to look at these inhibitors to change is to see them as core fears such as: 1) I’m afraid to give up the small rewards I have for the ultimate ones I want – fulfillment and success; 2) I’m afraid of failing and being seen as a big loser; and 3) I’m afraid to stretch myself to the highest degree possible because it’s hard.
Yes, most people are afraid and resistant to make significant life or career change. But many still get over themselves, overcome their conditioning and push through. As the slogan says, They “just do it.” I for one did it — underwent two career transformations, from miserable corporate VP to marriage and family therapist, and then from therapist to career and executive coach and consultant. And I’m so grateful I did. The majority of professionals I coach and train each year (numbering in the thousands) are changing jobs or careers too, with great success.
Why do these people quit their jobs or change careers, and why will YOU?
Here are what I’ve found to be the top five reasons why professionals finally bite the bullet and make job or career change:
⦁ You’ve simply had it with what you have and what you’ve created
You wake up one day and realize, “I absolutely don’t want this anymore. I’m clear, and I’m done.” There’s enough pain, discomfort, meaninglessness or disconnection in your work that you simply can’t continue this way one more minute. The small, random rewards you’ve been receiving over the years just don’t cut it anymore. You’re not seduced by them any longer.
2) You have the confidence and courage to do it
You’re smart and savvy. You’ve done your research about what’s involved to successfully change jobs or careers, and understand what it takes. You realize that, while your self-esteem has been rocked a good deal throughout these past years in this job, you still have enough confidence and grit to do what’s necessary.
3) Your eyes are wide open
You’ve learned an enormous amount throughout your jobs and the arch of your career. You’ve seen that it’s not just your job that’s making you miserable, but it’s YOU in your job that you want to change. You realize that getting on the path to making career or job change is exactly what’s required if you want to have a new kind of life.
4) You have the support you need
You know you can’t make this change alone. You need outside help that offers an empowered perspective of you, your talents, skills and passions. You know you need the support of key friends and family as well as those who will keep you accountable, and you have it.
5) You know there’s something more to this life, and that you deserve it
Finally, you know that this unhappy job (and simply paying the bills each month without any joy or fulfillment in your work) is not all there is to life. There IS more, and you’re hungry for it. The bell has been rung. Further, you know that you deserve it, because you understand that everyone deserves a fulfilling, joyful and successful life and career. You will get it because you will design it that way, from this day forward.
Will you be one of those who stays in your miserable career or job, or will you decide that this is the year you will finally do something about it, and leave?
I’m betting on the latter.
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